There have never been any quick fix solutions to dealing with the pressures of a teen’s life: peer pressure, competition, the search for independence and belonging, school, hormones, family conflict. For a large number of teens the anxiety evoked by everyday life can lead them down a path of sexual promiscuity and alcohol and drug abuse that affects their overall well-being, ultimately resulting in depression. It’s not surprising to learn then, that suicide is the third leading cause of death among teens.

Yoga is a non-competitive activity that fosters an environment of calm and relaxation. It offers an opportunity to hush the busyness of the mind and calm stressful emotions. Through an introspective approach, yoga teaches teens about the power they have over their own thoughts and feelings. They learn that they are more than just their emotions and at the core of their very being, they have the ability to control and redirect the stress in their own lives.

Benefits of teen Yoga come in a variety of ways:

• induces a feeling of relaxation giving the mind a break from worry
• increases energy and focus
• improves sleep
• learned breathing and relaxation techniques transcend the Yoga studio where teens have less difficulty getting homework done and feel less stress during exams
• improves physical fitness=increased confidence
• discourages junk food eating
• increases flexibility that protects joints from injury during other sports
• builds self-awareness through understanding of the connection between mind and body=healthy self-esteem
• improves digestion
• boosts the immune system

Parents or teens looking for self-soothing strategies to combat the pressure experienced by the turbulence of adolescence need only look up and find the nearest Yoga studio. A calming centered milieu where physical movement and mental training combine offers a natural alternative to clinical approaches to managing stress in teens.

Here are some parenting tips on parenting tips:

1. Test any parenting advice against your gut. If it doesn’t feel right, or you could not picture yourself staying the course, then don’t use that particular strategy. Shop for parenting advice like you would clothes. It has to be a good fit.
2. Know your children. Listen to them, observe their reactions. Learn about their personalities: what makes them afraid? What makes them feel safe? What works in helping them to change their behaviour? What responses cause more behavioral problems? Then respond to them according to what you know about them.
3. Find a philosophy that brings you and your parenting partner to the same page. When parents are at opposite ends of the discipline spectrum, children learn quickly that they can play one against the other. And consistency goes right out the window.
4. Don’t be afraid to modify parenting strategies to fit the needs of your individual children. If you use the strategy Time Out but you’re a child has difficulty sitting still and needs help to move through his tears, sit quietly with him while he takes his Time Out.
5. Ignore well-meaning neighbors, friends and relatives. Other people do not live your situation or know your children the way you do. So the next time someone says “he’s not toilet trained yet!” or “you let him have something to eat just before dinner!” Just remember you are the parent and you are doing what is best for you and your child. Maybe your child isn’t ready to be toilet trained yet and forcing the issue would do more harm than good. Maybe your child doesn’t like cooked vegetables so offering him a brownie made with spinach before dinner ensures he is getting the nutrients he needs.
6. Give yourself a time limit. The time it takes for a child to change his behaviour varies by individual response. If a text book strategy says “get your child to sleep through the night in three nights or less” be prepared that your child may take up to seven nights, or 12. Decide before implementing any strategy how long you are prepared to “wait” before you see desired results.

Bullying happens once every seven minutes on the playground and once every 25 minutes in the classroom.(Pepler et al., 1997)

If you are aware that a child is being bullied, here are 7 ways in which you can prevent and stop the bulling behavior:

1. Support the child. Let the child know you are there to support them and that you will do all you can to help them feel safe
2. Work with the School. Schools and parents need to work together to prevent and stop bullying. Parents need to make the school aware when there is a bullying incident and the school needs to develop a plan for supervision and intervention out on the playground and during lunch time and foster a climate where all students are safe, cared for and can access help if they need it.
3. Make a safety plan. If the bullying happens on route to and from school, parents can arrange for their child to go with older, supportive children, or be available to transport the child back and forth. Talk to the child about safety in numbers and encourage them to stick with a group when walking.
4. Help build the child’s confidence. Help children develop confidence in their social skills by encouraging them to get involved in extracurricular activities and school clubs that share similar interests.
5. Practice appropriate responses to the bully. Help children rehearse what to say to someone who is bullying them: “Stop it, I don’t like it” with assertiveness and walk away.
6. Increase self-esteem. Set the child up for success by providing opportunities where they can exercise their strengths and talents. When children do well it provides them with positive feelings about themselves and their capabilities.
7. Communicate. Create a milieu of unconditional regard where the child is encouraged to express their thoughts and feelings.

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Homework time can often be very stressful for children and their parents. Children can feel overwhelmed due to the amount of homework assigned, they may have a lack of understanding of the instructions, or they may just not want to interrupt their leisure time to get it done. When children do not comply with their parents’ requests to complete their homework, it often becomes a source of conflict between them. Working together to create an environment of support can lessen the angst families feel about the homework experience.

1.  Establish a Working Relationship with your Child’s Teacher

Parents should make every effort to connect with their child’s teacher and coordinate ways in which to communicate with each other regarding the child’s performance at school. When a parent is aware of their child’s class curriculum they are in a better position to help their child. Parents who support the teacher’s efforts in the classroom at home ensure continuity in the child’s learning. If a child struggles with a homework assignment, the parents can lend understanding to the problem because they will already be familiar with the assignment’s objective.

When there is dialogue between a parent and a teacher, students who are having difficulty or have missed homework assignments are more readily identified than if a parent and a child’s teacher have no contact. Keeping in touch on a regular basis with a child’s teacher will help impede a learning problem should one develop. The parent and teacher can agree on ways to best assist the child.

2. Create a Homework Routine

Parents and children should work together to devise ways to create an atmosphere that is conducive to getting homework done. Start by asking a child where they are most comfortable working; if he prefers silence or background noise (radio, classical CD, hum of the dishwasher); if he wants a parent nearby or want to be left alone with intermittent checks. Such questions can facilitate an area where the child is able to focus and not be distracted. Working areas can be reassessed as often and as necessary as need be if they do not meet the child’s needs. Younger children require less autonomy and as they get older, more and more responsibility for their homework can be shifted to them.

Parents and children should also decide on a specific time each day when homework is to be done. When the time of day is consistent, children will expect that it is going to happen. Children work well under structure and routine.

3. Maximize a Child’s Learning Potential

When helping children with their homework, parents need to identify their child’s learning style and work with their child’s strengths to deliver content and explanations in a way that will make sense to the child.

Parents need to come up with ways to motivate their children and make the experience of doing homework a pleasant one. For example, if a child is overwhelmed with the amount, parents can break it down in to chunks and instruct the child to do a piece at a time with a break in between.

4. Identify if there is a Bigger Problem

If a child appears to be persistently struggling with specific subject material or basic fundamentals to learning (reading and writing or math concepts) parents should consider if there is an underlying learning disorder or whether or not the child is experiencing anxiety that may be preventing learning from occurring. When such issues are identified, they can assist children in getting preferred accommodations and modifications implemented within their educational program.

Homework can be a daunting task for all concerned. Developing a relationship with a child’s teacher, establishing routines and working with a child’s learning strengths can certainly lessen the amount of frustration over homework. If problems continue despite intervention, early identification of a learning disorder will aid in getting children the assistance they need so that they can reach maximum potential in life.

When parents take a pro-active approach to teach their children management skills and healthy work habits it will not only facilitate the homework process, but also serve children well in their future professions.

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Here are some important questions to ask yourself:

1. How do I feel about the professional after talking with him/her on the phone? Do you feel at ease…or agitated? Did you feel heard? Did you feel understood?
2. Am I committed? Admitting you need help is one thing…an important thing…however, you must be ready to commit yourself to attending appointments and following through with recommended assignments. Changing thoughts and behaviours is hard work and in doing so you need to be disciplined in the work that you and your mental health worker agrees upon.
3. What are my expectations? Talking with a mental health professional will not change what has happened in the past. Nor will it change the behavior of other people in your life. The work you do with a mental health professional will help you (and your family if they are involved in the process) to understand how other people and past events affect you and guide you to make positive changes to prevent the history of your life to repeat itself.

Questions to ask a mental health professional before beginning treatment:

1. Is your practice guided by a regulated profession? This question ensures that the worker has met the necessary educational requirements in their field and maintains competency.
2. What is your level/years of experience. You want someone who is familiar working with situations similar to the ones you are experiencing.
3. What are your fees? Private therapists usually charge between $100 and $170 per session.
4. What is your cancellation policy?
5. What is your availability?

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If you or your family are frustrated and lacking support in managing your child’s behaviours associated with ADHD, anxiety or social impairments, contact Coach Apparent Ltd today and start your journey toward connecting your family through change.

Some common disorders:

• mood disorders (depression, seasonal affective disorder – SAD, bipolar disorder)
•  anxiety disorders
•  eating disorders
•  personality disorders
•  ADHD
•  substance abuse and dependency disorders.

 Assess: Reflect on your ability to cope with stress or traumatic life events by taking a mental health quiz, many of which are available at the Canadian Mental Health Association’s website (Mental Health Meter, Work-life balance quiz, stress test). Identify areas where your level of emotional well-being can be improved to help you cope with life’s uncertainties.

Seek Help: there are many causes and symptoms of mental health disorders, so it stands to reason that there are many ways to treat such illnesses.

Steps in seeking help:

• Talk to your doctor (or go to a walk in clinic if you do not have a family physician). Your doctor will explore with you the options for treatment: medication, referrals to psychotherapy/counseling, alternative therapies (exercise, homeopathic options, spiritual supports, self-help groups/books, nutrition), and community resources.
• You could also call your local Mental Health Help Line (in Alberta 1-877-303-2642) for confidential information and referrals (referrals can be sent to a variety of professionals depending on what type of treatment you are seeking: Psychiatrist, Psychologist, Counsellors, Social Workers, Mental Health RN, Life/Parent Coaches

Take Action: Now that you have more information you can decide what course of action to take in terms of getting the help you need. The decision to start any course of treatment can be very difficult. Finding a medication or a therapist that you feel comfortable with can be daunting. It’s a good idea to explore a number of options before settling into one. You want to make sure whatever course of action you take is a good fit for you and your family.

Find Balance: Make your emotional well-being a priority. Maintaining a balanced life is difficult in today’s faced-paced world; at the same time, we must find balance in order to sustain good health – physical and mental health. Make a plan to use your strengths to enhance the quality of your life. Value yourself by taking care of your own needs and enjoy aspects of your life that bring you energy and passion.

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Stress is a normal part of life that can affect everyone at any given point of time. It is part of our body’s reaction to pressures from our work, problems in our finances and conflicts in our personal relationships. Truthfully, stress is a friend that helps us deal with pressing situations that come into our lives. It acts to keep us on alert and be more focused on the problem at hand in order to resolve it quickly and promptly. However, prolonged stress can be harmful to the body. As people say, too much of everything is not good.

Since excessive stress is known to be hazardous to our well-being, it is important then that we find as soon as possible some of the best strategies and techniques to deal and manage its corresponding unpleasant effects such as headaches or migraines, trouble sleeping or insomnia, fatigue, lack of concentration, anger, depression, anxiety, weight loss or gain, high blood pressure and lack of sexual desire, to name a few. Fortunately, 7 of the most effective habits to successfully cope with stress are shared by stress survivors.

Here they are:

1. When you feel stressed, practice The Simple Breathing Exercise.

Word has it that people who are in great deal of stress tend to take short, shallow breaths rather than deep, relaxing ones. These short shallow breaths decrease the amount of oxygen being inhaled and delivered throughout the body, particularly the brain, causing one to further feel an intensive increase in stress experience. To ease the situation, experts then recommend that people in stress take deep breathing exercises.

To do The Simple Breathing Exercise, one should lie down or sit in a position of comfort throughout the procedure. In counts of 5, one should inhale slowly moving the stomach more than the chest. Then hold the breath for 2 seconds. For another 5 counts, gradually exhale. One should continue performing the exercise until relaxation is achieved.

2. Get at least 20 minutes of physical exercise three times a week.

Various studies have proven that people who have stressful lifestyles can greatly benefit from a 20-minute physical exercise. Exercise stimulates the nervous system to release its morphine-like substances called endorphins which produce a euphoric feeling as well as anti-anxiety effects. Moreover, exercise can decrease the body’s stress hormones such as cortisol, releasing the body off of stress.

Aside from these effects, a good physical activity can help take the mind off of stressful situations and redirect it on the present activity causing a zen-like state. This zen-like state is a mental state wherein one’s brain and body achieve internal silence or inner peace.

Good forms of physical exercises include aerobics, yoga, brisk walking, running, cycling, and swimming.

3. Add B-complex Vitamins to your Everyday Diet

Most people who cannot cope well with stress are reported to be deficient in various B-complex vitamins. These B-complex vitamins are very important to our mental and emotional well-being. Since they cannot be stored in our bodies, it is vital then that our daily diet supplies them or if not, we take vitamin supplements daily.

Vitamin B1 / Thiamine is an important vitamin that serves to convert glucose into energy. Without this, the brain runs out of energy leading to fatigue, anxiety, depression, and irritability.

Vitamin B3 / Niacin is important to prevent pellagra which causes psychosis and dementia. Moreover, a deficiency in this vitamin can produce anxiety as well as physical and mental retardation.

Vitamin B12 / Cobalamin is important for red blood cell formation. A deficiency in this vitamin results to an oxygen-transport problem. This can lead to mood swings, irritability, paranoia, mania, heart palpitations, and shortness of breath.

4. Avoid Caffeine

Caffeinated beverages such as coffee, tea, and colas should be avoided by people suffering from stress since these substances cause central nervous system stimulation. With increased levels of stress plus further stimulation from caffeine, you will feel more tensed and agitated making you unlikely to work properly and decisively.

5. Take herbal teas for relaxation.

Many report that natural herbs such as kava kava and valerian help people achieve relaxation. Because of this, people are advised to ditch their morning coffee and drink up herbal teas.

6. Learn how to prioritize things.

Setting things according to their priority can help you manage your work effectively and finish them right on schedule. With a clear and simple organization of tasks, you can minimize stress and de-clutter your mind. Moreover, a clear picture of what should be accomplished helps you work on one thing at a time without feeling that you have to do all tasks at once. To effectively practice this time management skill, purchase an organizer and list the things that need to be done and according to their importance or by deadlines.

7. Laugh often and hard.

Studies show that people who laugh often tend to lead a better life than those who do not. This is because people who see humor in all things produce more endorphins in the body that produces euphoric effects. Because of this simple explanation, people who are stressed need to take a break from their work and watch some funny shows and movies to help increase their endorphin levels.

Extreme stress is an enemy that people need to address to avoid causing further mental and physical damage. Hence, it is crucial that people habitually incorporate these simple and easy techniques into their daily activities to make certain that well-being is achieved.

About the Author: Ryan Rivera has more information about  anxiety and stress at www.calmclinic.com

Parents who encourage and model positive opinions about education can teach kids to manage school stress and enjoy the experience.

As curriculum requirements continue to increase in all levels of education, students are experiencing considerable amounts of school stress. Most of this stress is caused by having too much homework. Some of it may be attributable to a lack of organizational skills or the cognitive maturity to learn new and difficult concepts, causing the student to feel overwhelmed. Some students may not feel supported by the teacher or their parents. They may feel inadequate socially or ashamed and can’t ask for help.

Whatever the reasons, school stress can lead to a general feeling of apathy toward school and anything associated with it. When a student hates school enough to not want to go anymore, parents will have a real challenge encouraging that student to stick with it. Parents need to take on a proactive approach of instilling a positive attitude in their children about school, before it’s too late.

Use Words That Project a Positive Attitude

Education is vital to the development of every child. Its importance cannot be underrated. When referring to school, its administration or teachers, use positive language. When parents show respect toward those in the teaching profession they teach about the value of educators to their children. Remembering to thank teachers for their contribution to a child’s education demonstrates a positive attitude about school and learning. Even when parents disagree with a teacher or school administrator, they should always use positive and respectful communication techniques to facilitate cooperation and resolution to a problem.

Take an Active Interest in the School

Parents can take an active interest in their child’s school by first developing a working relationship with the child’s teacher. The child feels supported through such relationships, which helps manage school stress. If a child knows that there is a team approach to his/her learning curriculum, he/she will feel less overwhelmed about learning challenging concepts.

Parents can further participate in the school community by joining the PTA, volunteering in the classroom or library or by donating their time to fundraising campaigns.

Inform Children of Expectations

Younger children should be introduced to the school environment in a visual way. Making introductions with teachers and the classroom milieu prior to the commencement of school will give children a sense of familiarity when they do start. Older children need to understand what they can expect from school rules and class instruction. They need to understand how they will be graded and the degree of effort they need to put forth to succeed. Parents also need to communicate their expectations for each of their children and base those on each the child’s unique capabilities. When students understand what is expected from them they are more able to concentrate their efforts toward a known goal.

Model the Importance of Homework and Homework Routines

Parents who support the classroom’s learning environment at home help students learn and expand their knowledge. It’s essential that homework routines be established so as to teach organization, time management and problem solving skills. Solid homework strategies will also help students manage school stress, especially for those who experience anxiety in response to having to write a test or complete an assignment. Homework routines combat test anxiety by giving students confidence in their knowledge of test material. If the stress of homework and writing tests are managed effectively, students are less apt to have bad feelings about school.

Children who are taught respect for education and are supported in their efforts to succeed feel better about their school experience than children who are left to struggle on their own without parental involvement. When children are exposed to positive language about school and education and see their parents take an active interest in their school community, they will learn to appreciate school by that example. It’s not to say that they will never have times of disliking school when its demands feel too much, but they will continue to have enough respect for the value of education to not give up on it.

Working With the Teacher to Promote Positive Learning Experiences

When parents and their child’s teacher cultivate a relationship of mutual respect and cooperation, it is the child who benefits.

With the first month of school completed, now is an ideal time for parents to assess just how well their children are adjusting to the school routine and its curriculum. Should any problems be detected there is still a sufficient amount of time left in the term to address a child’s specific needs and get him/her the help he/she needs.

In today’s school environment, with a demanding curriculum, restricted budgets and limited teacher resources and assistance, teachers are often overwhelmed by the prospect of talking with a parent who is less than happy with regards to the child’s progress. Teachers feel powerless in their efforts to assist every child. Raising issues with teachers in the spirit of cooperation can go a long way in helping to set a child up for success.

How to Communicate With a Child’s Teacher

If it hasn’t been done already, parents should make arrangements to meet with their child’s teacher. Introductions are important to open communication. The parents should indicate their desire to be involved in their child’s education. Asking for suggestions for how they can best support the school’s learning environment at home is a cooperative approach that will open the door to a respectful relationship between the parent and the teacher. A teacher will be most grateful to parents who reinforce their efforts to sustain learning for their students.

How to Address Problems

Ask the child’s teacher how he/she would prefer to be contacted: by phone, email or in writing should problems arise. Parents should also inform the teacher how they can be reached, and convey the fact that they want to be advised if their child is struggling academically or socially at school. Inviting open communication about their child will help a teacher feel a sense of cohesiveness. The teacher will get the message that the parents are willing to work together as a team to ensure the success of their child’s school experience.

If a problem does exist, parents should approach the teacher as a team player by asking how parents and teacher can work together to solve it. Blaming the teacher for a child’s difficulties will only provoke a defensive reaction and does not lend itself to finding a solution to helping a child.

How Parents can Help Teachers Know Their Children

Parents know their children best. Parents have specific information that will benefit their child’s teacher in terms of how that teacher will relate to their child. What is the child’s learning style? Is the child more of a visual learner than an auditory one? Does the child get anxious before having to write a test? Does the child appear overwhelmed if there are too many questions written on one page?

Are there strategies the parents have implemented at home that will give the child’s teacher insight into managing the child’s classroom needs? Anything a parent can tell a child’s teacher about how their child learns will promote positive interactions between the teacher and the child.

How Parents can Help Their Children in the Classroom

Parents should let a child’s teacher know of anything that may be going on that would cause the child’s behaviour or academic performance to suddenly change. Is there a pending divorce? Has mom or dad just lost a job? Is mom away on an extended business trip? Did the family pet just pass away? Is the child being bullied?

A teacher’s compassion and understanding through such circumstances can prevent an emotionally struggling child from feeling alienated by school, especially when school may be the child’s only refuge if things at home are not going so well.

Parents need to inform the teacher of their child’s strengths and weaknesses. Parents should develop goals with their child based on the child’s strengths and inform the teacher of what those strong suits are. Notifying the teacher of areas of improvement they are working on with their child at home can also be helpful. A teacher who can easily recognize the strengths and needs of a child can more readily set realistic expectations for that child’s academic development.

The Benefits of a Working Parent-Teacher Relationship

Disagreements between parents and their child’s teacher may be unavoidable at times. If parents can approach these situations believing that the teacher wants their child to succeed in school just as much as they do, it will help them to find ways to amicably work together to ensure the child’s academic achievement. Letting the disagreement become bigger than the objective of ensuring school success for a child will only serve injustice to the child.

A child can only thrive in an environment that is conducive to his/her learning style and strengths. Parents have that information and teachers know how to use it to the child’s learning advantage. It’s imperative then that parents and teachers develop working relationships that benefit the children whom they are all helping to prepare for the future.

When asked what makes them happy at school, kids most often answer: Friends! Children have better attitudes about education and learning when they have friends at school.

It’s important for children to adopt healthy attitudes about school and learning. Beliefs regarding education should first be modeled by parents; however, this will take a child only so far in transcending those values into positive experiences. Children will eventually rely on other factors relating to the school environment when deciding whether or not they are enjoying it. Having friends tends to be one of those key factors.

How Parents Can Teach a Child to Make Friends

Children are not born socially competent. The behaviours needed for positive interpersonal interactions are learned through the relationship a child first has with his/her parents. Through interactions with their parents, children practice and fine tune how to behave in socially acceptable ways. Children will navigate their way through future social exchanges, including friendships, based on the skills their relationship with their parents has taught them.

The following skills are important in the acquisition of friendships and should be among the skills parents instil in their children:

Planning and Decision Making

Whenever possible and appropriate, parents should give children choices. When given the opportunity to practice decision making skills, children are exercising their ability to weigh options and choose what is in their best interest. By carefully considering what each choice means for them, children can think about and plan for the consequence of each choice. Making the wrong choice also prepares them for future similar events. Once a child has made a mistake, he/she is less apt to choose that way the next time. Choices help guide children in a direction that is right for them. Having friendships often comes down to making choices about who to be friends with, what game to play, who to invite to a birthday party, etc.

Interpersonal Skills

Empathy is taught by giving children a feelings vocabulary where they learn to articulate their emotions and understand how their actions impact the feelings of other people. Children who have a strong foundation in emotional literacy tolerate frustration better, get into fewer fights, and exhibit less aggressive behaviour than children who do not have the language capacity for expressing themselves. This skill alone makes a big difference on the school playground!

Cultural Competence

When children know about and are comfortable with people of different cultural, racial and ethnic backgrounds, there are fewer incidences of intolerance and prejudice bullying. When children are taught acceptance they do not factor in exclusion criteria for being friends with someone of a different colour or religion. And children who are of a minority are not ostracized, further broadening the opportunity to make friends.

Children need to be taught to resist peer pressure and make decisions based on their moral character and value system. Parents cannot preach this to their children, it needs to be practiced in order to be learned. Parents can give their children different hypothetical scenarios where they are asked to refuse peer pressure. By the acquisition of the above mentioned social skills, children will be developing a healthy self-esteem through social confidence where they are better able to walk away, than succumbing to the negative requests of their peers.

If conflict arises in these situations, children need to be able to resolve issues in a peaceful, non-violent way. Conflict-resolution skills can be thought of as competence in advanced interpersonal relations and communication. Conflict resolution is an important tool that will be useful not just during the school years, but for the rest of a child’s life.

Making and keeping friends is probably one of the most important aspects to the social-emotional development of a school-age child. When children are socially competent and feel good about the friendships they have at school, the experience of going to school will be far more enjoyable for them. Education is not always fun and sometimes learning is hard. There needs to be a balance in a student’s life (of any age) between academics and social activities. Otherwise, one becomes too dominant and can tip the scale of school success and take a toll on a child’s self-esteem.